Role Models

When you work with at-risk children, it’s apparent that one reason they’re heading down the wrong path is they emulate the wrong role models. The models are especially influential when one or no parent is significant or positive in their lives.

Marcus has innate intelligence and a personality that could propel him far. But, his role models are typical of his neighborhood; local criminals, and entertainers and athletes who behave inanely and irresponsibly.

I was pointing this out to him and linking it to his outcomes, because he’s smart enough to grasp it and possibly change course. He was pondering it for a few seconds when his eyes turned to mine. “Who were your role models?”

The hint of a smirk told me he thought he caught me off guard. Maybe another do-gooder talking trash to him.

But, he had misjudged his target. I had grown up in an urban environment and knew the value of role models. I had lived it. I know my role models were part of my ticket out.

I latched onto Ben Franklin almost by accident. In an elementary school class, we were required to pick a book from a pile on the teacher’s desk. When it was my turn, a cover caught my eye. Someone flying a kite in a lightening storm. Okay, there’s got to be a story behind that.

Ben Franklin; inventor, entrepreneur, publisher and co-founder of the greatest country on earth. This guy didn’t just sit around and wait for things to happen in any field – he made them happen. This was to be the first of many books I would read about Ben.

It wasn’t just that Ray Nitschke was an All-Pro football player. There were plenty of them. It was why he was. Nitschke played every single play as though the game depended upon it. He gave an all-out effort to succeed every time, sacrificing whatever it took to do so. He set the tone for the dominant Packer dynasty, inspiring his fellow players to ante up to his level.

A ferocious presence on the field, he was compassionate and intellectual off. He could adapt and had self-control. He cared about things that mattered.

The most important influence in my life was my father. He died when I was a teenager, but not before giving me what I needed.

He was a source of sage advice, so I recall being surprised that he had not completed high school until after going off to World War II. He was from a very poor neighborhood and it wasn’t that unusual.

He landed at Normandy and was wounded on the beach. But, he kept going, pushing inland. He saved his platoon by taking on a tank with a damaged bazooka, and was wounded again in the process. He kept going. At St. Lo, they suffered an aerial attack and he was riddled with shrapnel and almost died. He was awarded the Silver Star, Bronze Star and several Purple Hearts for his heroics.

His wounds required more than a year of rehabilitation and they never got all the shrapnel out. He had limited use of his left arm and leg. But, he kept going.

He got his GED and taught himself lithography, making a living for his family. Not the easiest profession for someone with the pain and metal he carried. But, he kept going and enjoyed life to the fullest extent possible.

I learned of his wartime heroics from his cousin. He never said a word. I knew about the constant pain from the wounds and internal shrapnel from the winces, limited motions and diet of aspirin. He’d never even consider mention of it. He just took the hand he was dealt and made the most of it. He kept accomplishing without complaint, hesitation or excuse.

Marcus didn’t quite get it. “So, you’re saying you did all right because you were given good role models?”

“No, I’m saying I selected good role models and, more importantly, applied what I learned. Look, we all grow up with influences, good and bad. But, at some point, it becomes our decision and our responsibility for who we are, what we do and what we accomplish or not. Make the right decisions, Marcus, and act on them.”

Hope he does.