You are what you paddle

The late great Jean Shepherd wrote a piece about how the automobile marques reflected the character of their native country’s population. As I paddled a kayak manufactured in New Zealand, I wondered if there was a potential similar blog in that.

Kayaks usually don’t ship far because of the high ratios of freight cost to value, and size to weight. Essentially, you’re shipping air. But, we get some foreign brands.

Most plastic boats are rotomolded. But, the German companies favor blow molding, which yields a rigid, precise hull, not unlike the country of origin. The designs tend to follow the Teutonic way, not hot trends. I had a friend who was running a major operation for Avon in Ohio. He was promoted to president, which required relocation to Germany. He said he had just purchased a Lexus and wanted to make arrangements to ship it. There was an icy silence followed by, “We are German. We drive German cars.” He sold the Lexus before he left.

I’ve owned two South African kayaks. The Afrikaner hulls are constructed to withstand any and all assaults with extra thickness. In the event that is insufficient, the armored walls are buttressed with a rigid internal frame.

English boats follow lines that are centuries old. Tradition is everything. The outfitting is very basic. They have their manufacturing flaws, but form is everything.

The French produce several brands, but virtually the only ones we see are the Bics. Yes, that’s Bic as in pen or lighter. Definitely march to their own drum and are not going over well here.

American producers, with some exceptions, are all about mass production and creature comforts. Thankfully, they haven’t gotten around to requiring airbags and pollution control.

Characterize those New Zealanders? Well, you know those Kiwis.