You're safe, now

I work for a nonprofit mental health/drug & alcohol treatment center. We employ doctors, so drug reps do call on us. Their ranks have been thinning as pharmaceutical companies have hit a rough patch. This might come as a surprise to those who swallowed the dramatized reports that drug companies print money.

In fact, as of the first of the year, they will no longer be giving us the handful of pens and post-it notepads that I look at as helping to defray some office supply expense. Or, as I also look at it, free up some dollars to treat the indigent in need.

That's right, we were on the take. All the treatment facilities are in on it. For a few plastic pens, we were hooking tens of thousands of people on unnecessary psychotropic drugs. Biggest thing since the Medellin Cartel.

But, the flow of cheap pens is coming to a close. The war on legal drugs and pharmaceutical companies can be declared a victory. You're all safe, now.