Death Row

The row of chairs before me was dotted with men’s faces that reflected impending doom. I selected one to await my fate.

Not the waiting room of an IRS auditor. Nor, the booking desk at the local police station. Your hint is that each chair occupant was weighted down with bags of merchandise, plus a purse.

Yes, it was the row of guy chairs located close to the dressing rooms of a women’s fashion shop. All of these men appeared able to easily handle the rigors of a police booking or tax audit. But, who among us knows the correct answer to “What do you think of this one?”

You don’t know the right answer because there isn’t one. You are wrong by definition. And don’t think you have the mental agility to sidestep the question with a vague or noncommittal response. That will only provoke focused follow-up queries to pin you down on specifics. You will die by degrees instead of by one merciful blow.

But, you can avoid walking into the common pitfalls. For instance, the answer to which of these two looks good is “both.” That won’t get you off the hook, but it does lessen what you will have to do to make up for lost ground.

Beware the test question. If you have been too adroit with your reactions, there will be a question to test your sincerity. Try to finesse that one and you’re back to ground zero.

So, here I sit, neck deep in fancy plastic bags. Trying to figure out what dinner location will best atone for the errors I am about to commit when that door opens.