Intense

Another meeting I would’ve liked to have been part of. I made reservations at a state park for a group campout. I usually avoid state parks for this because their policies and procedures tend to be user-unfriendly. But, at this location, there was little choice.

It’s been four years since I’ve made reservations with this particular state and I noticed that they had changed some policies. What was merely inconvenient was now onerous. Good to see progress.

I would’ve liked to have been in that meeting. “Let’s put a cap of eight on occupancy for each site. Either eight adults or four adults and four children.”

“Great thinking, Gillespie. Make them plan their families according to our rules. Let’s make it more difficult. If it’s all adults, they can have but one tent. If it’s a mix, they can add a children’s tent, which must be occupied by the children and only children. That way, it’s assured that the children are without adult supervision and are free to strangle each other or sneak out and fall into the lake. At the very least they can be terrified by night noises without an adult next to them in the tent.”

“But you’re allowing a second tent on the site, even if it’s only a child configuration. Two tents runs contrary to the spirit of the outdoors and is lot more offensive than the 38’ Southwinds we rent to, bristling awnings, audio systems and Japanese lanterns.”

“That’s what gives it the touch of absurdity we strive for. We’ll make them book online and not give them a phone number for the confusing stuff we build in. Multiple bookers are the best customers, so we’ll be hard on them and force filling out an entire separate reservation for each site.”

“That’s great. And since they’re doing all the work that way, we’ll hit them with a reservation fee for each site equivalent to more than half the camping fee.”

“I like the way you think! But, they may look for hidden fees. So, in the FAQ section, pose the question and say there are none be on guard for that. Also, we can say that we accept AAA and senior citizen discounts, but program the reservation system not to apply them.”

“Nice touch. I think we’ve earned the rest of the day off.

Okay, I’m having a little fun with them and not being entirely fair. Not being at the meeting, I’m sure I missed something behind the logic. The reservation people probably wouldn’t have firsthand knowledge, so it wouldn’t be just to put them on the spot. I called park administration.

My question: what is a child’s tent? “That would be a dome tent.”

“Any dome tent?”

“That’s right. That’s a child tent.”

“What makes it a child tent?”

“It just is.” Oh, I was afraid there wasn’t a reason. Probably part of the same meeting. It isn’t as if camping isn’t integral to their business. When someone threw out this definition, someone else in the room didn’t choke on their coffee?

I can buy a 17’ x 10’ dome tent. Or, child tent, if you will. How is that too intrusive if I put an adult in it, but not if I cram it with children? I guess you had to be at a meeting.

Sorry I missed it.