Party Animals

I helped organize an event that came off very well. At it, one of the high muckety mucks in the community approached me and engaged me in conversation. I caught the whiff of a proposition coming and it didn’t take long.

He was putting together a task force and wanted to know if I’d be willing to serve on the executive committee. I said I’d have to know more about it and now was not the time. I’d been running at full throttle for 20 of the past 24 hours.

He appeared a little puzzled that I wouldn’t jump at “the honor” but said he’d give me a call. Fine.

The call arrived today. It came from his administrative assistant. Strike one. If it isn’t important enough for you to make the effort, it probably isn’t worth my time to give you one. She told me he wanted to meet me for dinner and gave the time and place. No alternatives?

I told her I was busy. There was a pause while she contemplated her fate in reporting a failure. Clearly, they weren’t used to encountering any resistance. She said they’d have to get back to me.

In less than ten minutes he called, barely able to disguise his impatience. He said he had lined up some big hitters to meet with me at that time and asked if I couldn’t rearrange my calendar. I said I could not.

“Can I ask why?”

Well, since you’re so brazen, “I have a party that night I can’t miss. I’m open to another time.”

He named a possible alternative, noting he’d have to check with the other attendees. I had another party I had to go to. What are the odds?

“Well, it appears this isn’t a real high priority for you.” Hard to find fault with that statement.

I like a good party. The right ones are a celebration of the zest for life. Is there a wrong one?

Yes, I avoid those that are contrived in a way that people are supposed to be having a good time and are working too hard at it. Mostly, they’re event parties (New Years, Superbowl, etc.).

The best ones are celebrations. My favorites are reunions and We-did-it! parties. A few years ago, I led a large group on a kayak trip to Florida. We had such a great time that one of the participants was moved to organize a trip reunion where we could share photos and video. That was a party I wasn’t going to miss. It didn’t disappoint.

The party that coincides with the initial proposed meeting date is of the We-did-it! variety. It’s for the committee members and volunteers of the aforementioned event. The event was a smash hit and I’m really looking forward to the victory celebration.

His alternative date falls on the day of another celebration, the birthday of a dear friend. No way I’m blowing that off.

I’d guess this guy’s project might be worthwhile. But, life’s too short for party animals to ignore their priorities.

Age

I recently performed a “feat” that skyrocketed into national news coverage. Fine, but I didn’t see an article that didn’t lead with a line that didn’t contain “62 year-old.”

Likewise, in several interviews, the reporters whispered, “Can I ask you how old you are?” Like it’s a sensitive subject. The same was true when I successfully competed in an open water swim competition last year.

I suppose I might’ve viewed it in similar fashion a few decades ago. I acknowledge that most people do and I’m willing to go with the flow.

But, I don’t look at myself as old. As far as enjoyment goes, this may already be the best year of my life and it’s only half over. If I thought of myself as old, I might not have done some of the things I’ve done or planned neat stuff for the second half.

Yes, I do have some of the physical issues of age. I address them as best I can, just as I did for the challenges of youth, and then forget about it. I don’t use them to define myself.

And it’s that, not age, that matters. As Carol Matthau wrote, “There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you.”

More on the 15 minutes

In the previous blog, I noted that there is some satisfaction derived from acknowledgement from your peers when you’ve accomplished something. That’s true and I have been enjoying that this week. However, I overlooked another segment from which I've received congratulations that has brought no small amount of satisfaction.

That would be former employees. Under normal circumstances, the relationship can be demanding or at least somewhat contrived. I have the self-awareness to know that I push the envelope.

I expect myself to achieve or exceed goals without rationalizations, without excuses and without fail. I expect no less from employees. That was the culture of every company I owned or ran.

The flip side was that, if you performed, I couldn’t do enough to reward you. I’m a notorious overpayer and granter of help or perks. I don’t care if you dye your hair green, wear flip flops or have the personality of a doorknob; if you make an honest effort and help advance the cause, I make sure you do well.

Many managers and companies have succeeded with other philosophies and cultures. This is what I thought was a fair shake for good employees. I’m happy they agree.

15 Minutes

Kayaking the Five Great Lakes in Five Days created exposure for the event I was promoting, as intended, but also generated my own 15 minutes of fame. Again. I’ve been “famous” before in other genres.

Not a huge deal for me. It might be different if it was the kind of fame that brings tens of millions of dollars, but it’s never been like that and I’m not sure even that would make much difference. My view is that whatever earned you the notoriety happened because who you are as opposed to you being something because of the accomplishment. In other words, you’re the same person you are the morning after as the morning before. If you’re happy with that, you’re happy with or without the recognition.

Not that there’s no satisfaction at all from that. The “public” may be awed by the press clippings but your peers understand the true nature. When you hear from them, it carries some weight.

You do hear from a lot of people. Perhaps the largest group is those jumping on the bandwagon. Every time I’ve hit it big, I’m contacted by my “best friends” who I haven’t heard from in years. “I knew you had it in you.” “That’s the guy I know and love.” Blah, blah, blah. That’s okay, as long as you understand they’ll be the first to jump off when the wagon loses speed or goes off the road.

A related segment is those who see an opportunity to leverage you for their own benefit. I had one equipment manufacturer offer me a small amount to appear in his ads when he saw the media coverage (he had declined being a sponsor up front). I countered saying I would do the ads without the fee if he gave the people in my paddling club a 25% discount for the next year. He’d win with the free endorsement and the additional business. Apparently, he’s not a fan of win-win propositions, so I won’t collaborate with him. On the other hand, someone who had previously given my friends a discount offered me a fee to appear on his web site and I agreed to do it for free.

Joe loosely fits into this genre. He emailed me a job offer. That brought a smile. He did the same thing about 20 years ago and I haven’t heard from him since. At the time, I had written a column about something I set out to do on a whim that didn’t approach the magnitude of this venture. I related how all kinds of unanticipated obstacles cropped up and I was tempted to bail out. But dammit, I started it and I was going to finish it.

Joe called with an attractive job offer. I told him he didn’t even know me. He said he read every line of the column three times and knew I was exactly the type of person he wanted running his company. I politely declined then and now. Maybe in another 20 years.

A much smaller group is the naysayers who are intent upon minimizing the significance of what you achieve. I’m always amazed that they don’t realize how transparent it is that they’re revealing much more about themselves than their targets. I pity those who endure their miserable lives viewing the world through that prism.

I value most those close to you who don’t treat you any differently, a tacit acknowledgement that you haven’t had your head turned and they would expect no less. My favorite was the night after I got home from the trip and went to celebrate with a friend. She opened the door and I said, “Well, I did it.”

Her response, “Did you remember to pick up the cat litter on your way over?”

Solitude

On the verge of an expedition. Faithful readers know that means: a) I’m already packed up with plans checked and doubled-checked b) I’m going bonkers waiting and am writing for displacement activity.

The second most frequent question is, who’s going with you? (Most frequent is, are you crazy?)

The answer is no one. The trip or feat, if you will, is paddling on all five Great Lakes in a five-day span. Given the potential hazards of the trip, I did approach several seasoned paddlers who might have the free time. I received one of two responses. No and hell no (see question about the sanity of this plan).

So, I’m traveling solo. Not for the first time, especially subsequent to retirement. Some say they can see that. The quiet, serenity and time to contemplate. Heck with that. I’m no Thoreau.

It does have its advantages. I don’t have the burden and problems of herding others with various levels of capabilities, but I also lack the benefit of those talents. And the amusement. The people I usually travel with have a great time together.

I often travel solo now as I did the few times I ventured out in other stages of life. I’ve crisscrossed the country in sports cars and on motorcycles. I may have been alone on the road but that ended at the campground or tavern. Meeting locals is part of the trip.

I’m not shy about it and racking a 17’ kayak above my truck is a bit of an icebreaker. Some people who have approached me at campgrounds said I just looked like someone who would have some good stories. In the interest of balance, acquaintances have told me I don’t look especially approachable.

But, I do have time alone and am prepared for that. I take a book and a recorder (fipple flute). A half dozen repetitions of “Greensleeves” is usually enough to ward off visitors when you’re not in the mood. And “Mustang Sally” played on a woodwind draws nothing but stray dogs. I’d take my accordion but “Lady of Spain” would empty a campground.

I’m not so reckless as to take on the big water alone. I reached out and found paddlers at each location to kayak with. Not as easy as you might think since I’m paddling during work hours.

I crafted my email invitations to explain who I was and what I was doing in 25 words or less (actually, a few more). One denizen of the far north responded, “I know who you are!” Some trepidation about meeting up with her.

But, that’s part of the deal with the lone adventurer.

Goals

We pulled off a big event yesterday. After it, the team circled up, shook hands and slapped backs. It’s one of the great feelings in life.

As I turned away to pack up, someone from the crowd tapped me on the shoulder. “That was pretty impressive. But, weren’t you afraid you’d bomb?” Easy to see why he hadn’t been in our circle.

There’s less risk in setting your goals high and falling short than setting them low and reaching them. In the former, you usually still accomplish something. In the latter, you merely validate the low expectations of yourself.