Your most formidable opponent

Relishing a victory today. Enjoy them when you can get them.

I guess most think of this in the context of sports, business or war, when you’re overcoming the opposition that is working to thwart you. This was not the case today. Not every significant victory entails an outside opponent.

I had bought a new kayak and was anxious to put it through its paces. I planned to do that on the river this weekend, but the water rose and flattened it out. The fallback position was a whitewater playpark where you surf and play a few stationary waves. I wasn’t going to learn a lot about the boat under those limited circumstances, but it was better than nothing.

We arrived under cold, drizzly conditions. The water was frigid and high. The waves were very powerful at this level and not configured to facilitate surf and play. More like they were perfect for punishing any paddler who had the effrontery to take them on.

I took in the scene and knew it boded getting flipped into the glacial and turbulent water, necessitating rolling up. The tapes began to play in my head. You haven’t rolled in a while. This is an unfamiliar boat. The cold water will make you rush.

Before addressing that, I should explain that rolling a kayak is largely psychological. The physical part is easy. Being upside down in an oxygen-free environment with your face rushing toward rocks compels you to make mental errors.

You begin your learning process with the pool roll, although that may take place in a lake or other nonthreatening environment. You start in a set-up position, flip over and then roll back up. This is largely to erase the tape in your head that tells you that you can’t roll. Since you seldom capsize in the set-up position in real world conditions, it has limited value.

So, you progress to the same exercise without setting up before you flip. This still lacks the element of surprise, as well as the adverse conditions. But, repetition creates confidence. And, the more time that lapses since you last roll, the less confidence you have and your chances of success diminish accordingly.

From there, you have to master the combat roll (actual paddling conditions and without warning). Physically, it’s the same thing you’ve been doing. Mentally, it’s a whole different ballgame. Your doubts and fears rise up, sometimes causing you to rush or rely more on muscle than technique; recipes for failure.

All the factors were running through my head: time elapsed since last roll, adverse conditions, strange boat, etc., leading me to the conclusion that I’d be swimming in the gelid current. Fortunately, I recognized the process, pushed the reset button to eliminate all the negative thoughts and enjoyed a good day of combats rolls.

The most formidable opponent you can have is yourself because you know your hot buttons better than anyone else. So, a victory over yourself is worth savoring.