Lock-ins

In the locker room, Clem was bemoaning his outcomes in trying to get his wife to work out. “I told her, black women tend to pile up that fat in a few places and it don’t look good no how.” I don’t know what Clem does for a living, but I’d hazard a guess it’s not a position where he’s required to motivate people. Probably not a marriage counselor, either. “I says, the hardest part is starting out. Once you’ve got your lock-in, you’re there.” I didn’t know exactly what he meant, but thought we were close. I’ve never used the term but I’m looking at it as the point where you’ve already invested so much, you’re not going to back out. That could be good or it could be bad. It probably helps me drag my old and aching bones to the gym. On the other hand, I don’t take a day off when I probably should and I agonize when I miss a number of sessions. I try to be rational about this, whether it applies to the gym or anything else. It’s not unusual to let lock-in dictate your actions when you’ve started a business, gotten into a relationship or whatever. You’ve got to know when to hold them and when to fold them. It’s much better to manage your lock-ins than to have them manage you. The first step is discerning the difference between a lock-in and a perceived one. My children are a lock-in. Right or wrong, I’ll be behind them, now and forever. That’s real. I recall what I think was my first revelation of a perceived lock-in. My first corporate job out of college was with a huge company and I was doing quite well; good salary, fantastic benefits, job security and a bright future. But, it wasn’t me. At first, it didn’t seem to matter that I wasn’t that happy with it because, with a young family, that appeared to be the only logical course of action. What brought it into focus was that I conceived a creative strategic move to capitalize on a piece of impending legislation. The top brass thought it was brilliant but wanted to run it through the bureaucratic red tape process. This strained out key elements and delayed implementation well beyond a year. And, well beyond the point of striking while the iron was hot. When the time came that I received the go-code (“And you’d better make this work.”), the window of opportunity had passed. Instead of beating the dead horse, I revisited the assumption that I was locked into this job and asked who I was. At that point, I decided to go entrepreneurial and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. More recently, an organization I’ve been integral to for a long time took a bad turn at the direction of the chairman. He assumed I had so much of myself invested in it, I’d have little choice but to support the new narrative. He assumed wrong. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was a very good one. So, one key to happiness is managing your lock-ins instead of letting them manage you. You are better off making your own decisions than allowing them to be made for you.