It's who not where

I was getting suited up in the locker room when a guy came out of the shower and began to dress. He gave me one of those uber-friendly greetings. Not part of my repertoire but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I assumed he was looking for more than a grunt in acknowledgement so I scanned his belongings for a clue. A racket. I asked him if he had a good game. That seemed to puzzle him momentarily as he appeared lost in thought. “You know, I think I did okay. For me, it’s not about that. It’s a little about the exercise and a lot about the camaraderie. Great people. Does that make sense?” “Perfect sense.” Over the past few months, I’ve given almost a half dozen talks about kayaking. These included video of various trips I’ve been on. In every case, the same question emerged, “Where was your favorite trip?” My stock answer is that the trips are like your children. They’re all different and there are no favorites. But, in fact, there were some I enjoyed more than others. Citing them wouldn’t answer the question about preferred location, however. It was more a question of who than where. A few weeks ago, I did a paddling trip, island-to-island in the British Virgin Islands. It was a diverse group but the chemistry was incredible. We’re still emailing almost on a daily basis. This week, we had a pre-trip meeting for an upcoming group trip to Florida. For the participants, it’s a chance to ask questions and get a better sense of the trip. For me, it’s an opportunity to get a feel for the group. Will they mesh? Is anyone likely to be a disruptive factor? I’m very happy to say it’s a good group and I anticipate having a blast. To some extent, it’s self-selective. Balanced people are more comfortable with balanced people and issues people tend to gravitate to their own kind. But, as a trip leader, you have to be aware of the problem children and draw the line for them. It only takes one to diminish the experience for everyone. So, I understood what the guy in the locker room was saying. It isn’t where or what. It’s who.