The Best Present

For the past month or two, I’ve been presented the question, “What do you want for Christmas?” Hard question as I’m at the age where I pretty much have all I need.

But, what do I want? Already have that, too. This month, I’ve received many cards that allude to our friendships, reminding me I already have those gifts, and few things are more precious. Friends from high school, college, work, paddling, volunteer work and other sources. All their contacts produce a warm glow.

What is a friendship? I suppose a clinical definition would revolve around mutual and supportive behavior. The bricks of that are understanding, trust, affection, esteem, honesty, loyalty and similar values. The mortar is communication.

A friend is someone you can trust and relax with. You can be yourself and don’t have to watch your back.

Perhaps the greatest threat to friendships is change. People evolve and obtain different priorities, interests, needs, etc.

Not everyone gives you that warm glow because not all associates are friends or beneficial. There are toxic friends that people acquire to fulfill one unhealthy need or another, allow themselves to be victimized, or because birds of a feather flock together. Toxic people frequently attract each other to gain mutual validation for aberrant behavior. Toxic friends include the controller, judge, promise breaker, betrayer, gossip, user, complainer, leaner, self-centered person, or manipulator. Manipulators often try to generate pity to control. Poor me, I’m always the victim.

Life’s too short. Shun the toxic people and treasure the gems. Nurture those precious relationships with communication and care. You will enjoy and be rewarded many times over.