Sic transit gloria mundi

I suppose I should’ve seen it coming when Yahoo announced employment cutbacks. The email sadly informed me that the Power Moderator program was being discontinued. It didn’t state it explicitly but, therefore, I was no longer a Power Moderator.

I shed no tears, much as I had popped no corks when I had been informed that I was designated one. It was a result of a Yahoo group board that I had started and grown to a point that earmarked me as someone they wanted to cultivate. I scanned the benefits and privileges inherent to the title and saw little that really rang the bell. Ergo, there wouldn’t be much I’d miss.

A few decades ago, I received notification that I was anointed with the title Kentucky Colonel. I had heard of it and thought there was even a style of necktie that carried that name. Stirring. It took a while for it to dawn on me that the primary benefit was that I was entitled to make contributions to their cause. The same was true when I was inducted into the order of Colorado Mountain Men and made an Honorary Engineer of the Chattanooga Choo Choo. Titles are cheap. I prefer cash.

Apparently, so did they. After a protracted period of not receiving any checks from me, I dropped off the mailing lists. I assume I was stripped of my rank. Sic transit gloria mundi.

Some titles are better than others. I was in the river barging business. The southern routes were largely worked by Cajuns, a somewhat closed society. Like others, I had some difficulty getting in the door. Big Eddie Conrad, the godfather of the clan, once referred to me as a Yankee. I countered that I was working out of Cincinnati, which was kind of a border area. “Anyone north of the Huey P. Long Bridge is a Yankee,” he corrected. Okay. I think I understand your policy.

It was a rough road for outsiders, but I kept chipping away. One day, Eddie summoned me to his enclave. “What now?” I thought.

I stood before him and some other luminaries of their tribe. Eddie presented me with a plaque and lapel pin. I was made an Honorary Koon-Ass, which is how they referred to their breed. Things were a lot easier after that. At last, a title worth having.

Some years back, a representative of Delta Airlines showed up in my office with another plaque. I was now a Flying Colonel. I had already been a colonel, so this didn’t knock me over. Except, I learned it gained free admission to any of their Crown Rooms, with the complimentary beverages, snacks and other amenities. That’s more like it.

However, Delta fell on hard times, like Yahoo. And that was that for the perks.

Easy come, easy go.