Mystery Guest

As previously noted, I belong to a small group of men who meet for dinner monthly. We take turns researching and presenting on controversial topics. A spirited and witty debate follows the presentation.

The exception to the rule is that when it’s your month to present, you can bring a substitute speaker. This is seldom exercised, but when it has been, it’s been used effectively. Guest presenters have included a governor and a head of a questionable religion.

Last night, it was Scott’s turn to present, but he brought a guest, Eric. During the cocktail hour that precedes the dinner, it’s customary to introduce the guest around. In this case, they wouldn’t share anything other than his first name. That was enough to pique the curiosity.

Eric is about 40 and shaves his head. The first thing I noticed is that he is in extremely good shape. Not, just built well, but training-hard shape. He’s 5’8” or under, which limits the options, as does his age. Maybe a gymnastics or wrestling coach who has kept up his own regimen.

During dinner, he’s given a hard time, as much to test him for what will follow as to make him feel part of the group. As dessert is being polished off, he rises and introduces himself. “My name is Eric Knapp. Father Eric Knapp.” My mind immediately shifts into a hard drive search, trying to recall what I said to him during the meal. Ah, he’s heard worse during confessions. Presumably.

Eric is a marathon runner and his topic is the link between sports and religion, and how that manifests itself in society. It was pithy and fascinating, and not at all preachy.

He traced that back thousands of years and brought us back to the present where we deify sports stars, almost regardless of their other attributes. He’s right, but you could say the same thing of rock stars and actors.

Sports, like life, is about winning and losing. We tried to eliminate that with no-loser youth leagues, where scores aren’t kept. He said that he’s talked with the kids and everyone knew what the score was anyway, and if they won or lost. Good. Not knowing how to deal with a loss is poor preparation for life.

In connecting his dots, Eric said that a survey showed that 70% of high school football teams prayed before games. Maybe, I thought, but only half the prayers are going to be answered.

Fans like to root for winning teams and athletes, drawing some validation from the successes. I was thinking that wouldn’t explain Sox or Indians fans. I had researched fan psychology before. At one time, it was widely held that losers attached themselves to winning teams, feeling that the winners’ victories somehow reflected on them when, in fact, they had not nothing to do with it.

Thoughts on this mentality have changed over the years. But, I would still opine that if your day hinges upon how well some team or player you have little to do with does, you might want to re-evaluate your life plan.

Eric said that everyone loves winners. I take issue with that. Many stars have haters who can’t wait for them to stumble (e.g. Tiger Woods) and delight in their problems. The hater mentality is that someone else’s success underscores their failures. They enjoy shows like “Jerry Springer” and “Cops” that feature failing as much, if not more, than themselves, so it’s not limited to sports.

There’s a successful novelist who complained on his blog about the cheap shots that appear on the web about him and his work. If I were to talk with him (in effect, I may be since he reads this blog on occasion), I would ask him why he cared at all what they said. Their issues aren’t his work. What their real compliant is is that he’s successful and they’re not. That’s their problem, not his, so why pay any attention?

The discussion led to how sports imprints itself upon business, politics, education, etc. There are the fingerprints. But, in sports, you play the best person in each position, regardless of age, gender or race. Same with a symphony orchestra or similar organization. I have no argument about the impact of sports on education. When our highest legislative body has nothing better to do than concern itself with college football bowl seedings (that is, when they’re not holding hearings on profession football pensions or steroid use in MLB), you know where our priorities are. Eric linked this with the oft-cited disparity between sports salaries and those of teachers, social workers, etc.

Sports teaches us that you have to put in extraordinary efforts and preparation to enjoy extraordinary results. Winners learn from their mistakes and get better. Losers blame others for their failings and never learn from them.

Eric told the story that he found out he was in a marathon with Frank Shorter, one of his idols. Shorter was well past his prime, but Eric ran extra hard for the thrill of beating him anyway. I can relate to that but don’t ever see myself in a position to tackle Jim Brown or knock out Muhammad Ali.

I wish we would’ve had more time with Eric and will watch for his future speaking engagements. I recommend that you do, too.