Recreational math

I was just getting home from performing the joyous task of bringing home the new baby. Figuratively speaking. It’s a kayak, which is almost as good as the real thing.

I made the final turn onto my street and was giddy with the anticipation of commencing the fiddling around with the new toy. And then, the buzz kill. Ned popped his head out the door of the travel trailer he was cleaning in his driveway. I didn’t have to check the rearview mirror to know he was trotting down the road after me.

“New boat?” Ned doesn’t know much about kayaks. However, when he senses someone doesn’t want anything to do with him (most people in the neighborhood), he affixes his nose firmly into every aspect of your life.

“Yes, Ned, a new boat.”

“How much did it cost?” I told him. “And, it only has one seat?”

Ah, the powers of observation. “Yes, one seat.”

“Well, if you multiplied the cost times the number of seats in a minivan, you could’ve had the van. And this doesn’t even have an engine.”

“But, I couldn’t lift the van up onto my racks.”

“You wouldn’t have to. You could drive it. See my point?”

“What I don’t see is why my choices are of any concern of yours.”

“Just saying.” There’s your sign.

Recreational purchases often don’t make economic sense. But, they can yield a substantial return on quality of life. If you worry about the numbers, don’t spend the money. Otherwise, life is a big canvas. Throw all the paint on it you can.

I looked toward his driveway. There sat his Brobdingnagian travel trailer and the proportional truck required to tow it and his brood the three or four times a year they use it. “You have, I’m guessing, at least $80,000 tied up in that rig. Straight-line the depreciation and add in insurance, license and cost of money, it drains you about $10,500 a year if it just sits there, not to mention you lose use of half your driveway and are in violation of the neighborhood regulations. Drive it and you rack up an incremental cost of about $900 per trip in fuel, plus another few hundred in camping fees. And then you have to drive the behemoth and now you’re spending your day cleaning it out. I’d just throw the kids in a minivan and take them to Disneyworld.”

“But, I like trailering.”

“That’s my point.”

“Why don’t you mind your own business?”

I thought I had been.