Relationships

I got the call Thursday afternoon. “Cherry found a new restaurant.” I already knew the rest, but she said it anyway. “Our plans for Saturday have changed.” Cherry’s discoveries are tantamount to those of Anasazi cliff dwellings and distant galaxies, but have much greater impact, as far as I’m concerned.

Saturday arrives and I’m looking at five couples and one fine looking menu. Small talk and catching up ensue until the first plates of exotic appetizers arrive. I spear a forkful of baba ganoush. Oh yeah! Cherry has done it again.

Samples are shared and chatter resumes. Cherry tells Sandy that Carol & Tim aren’t coming because…well, they called it quits this week. Every female head stops talking and swivels toward her. The guys keep eating.

Details, give us details. Cherry says she talked with Carol for only a few minutes. Yet, she seems to have acquired a couple decades worth of issues and background information. It transitions into a discussion about relationships. At least, among the women. The guys are staring at their plates.

Opinions and beliefs are based on life experiences, among other personal filters. Cherry & Don and Anita & Jim are in second marriages. Diane & George have been wed forever. Fawn & Eddie have a long term, albeit somewhat stormy relationship, and had each been married to others in younger days. Kathy & Bruce are on a date. They’ve known each other for a matter of months.

The women appear to be focusing on Tim’s shortcomings. I notice Jim flinching at some of them, as though he thinks they’re really talking about him. Mind you, Jim always thinks everyone is really talking about him. Mercifully, the conversation eventually turns back to the more mundane. What the kids are doing, the price of gas and the poor choices in upcoming elections.

Don invites everybody over to their place afterwards for drinks, which I pretty much saw coming. Much of his talk had been the thirty grand he put into finishing half their basement. You don’t drop that kind of money without using it at every opportunity to justify it. Everyone except Eddie and Bruce appear delighted. They seem to have had other plans. But, everyone goes.

I’ve been there before. The house is a few years old. It’s big and elegantly appointed. Yet, it’s the smallest house in the posh neighborhood. They were stretching to live there. Whatever floats your boat.

The women clustered around the sweeping breakfast bar in the kitchen. You would expect they’d have beelined for the redecoration, but it had been all Don’s baby and they had heard about it for months through Cherry. The guys followed Don to the capacious downstairs.

The new room was a media center, with big screen television, surround sound and mammoth u-shaped couch. This contrasted with the other half, which was a media center with big screen television, surround sound and mammoth u-shaped couch. It did also had a wet bar.

This begged the question, but I’m well past trying to figure out Don. George did the honors. Don explained that the one television was plasma while the other was LCD. Oh.

Drinks were ordered and mixed. We settled into a couch for some inconsequential guy talk. The Reds are screwing up again. The stock market is on a roller coaster. How hot is that Roselyn Sanchez, anyway? Has anyone worked Obama’s math and where does he think the money’s coming from?

Don usurps the role of moderator. The host’s prerogative. If he wants to be alpha dog, it’s okay by me. Surprisingly, he swings the conversation around to Carol & Tim and relationships. What is this, “The Big Chill?” Ah, but there’s an undercurrent of sex. That’s more our depth.

Don isn’t entirely satisfied with the frequency or nuances. This comes as no surprise to me since their body language is one of maintaining distance. He doesn’t treat Cherry with much respect, but that may be his passive-aggressive way of dealing with transgressions on her part.

George says they’ve been married for over thirty years. What’s sex? Everyone laughs, but he may not be kidding. Jim’s got all kinds of issues, which comes as no shock. No one bothers to point out that Anita’s merely reacting to his behavior. He hasn’t gotten it in years and isn’t about to start now.

The body language between Eddie and Fawn is always affectionate. He’s not providing any details, but says they have a good all-around relationship. Don says it’s easy for him to say because Fawn is a fox. An odd comment, since Cherry is no dog. Fawn and Cherry had both done some modeling in their younger days and still maintained themselves quite well. Bruce says they’re still very early in their relationship and it’s all heat. There’s a silence as each of us are alone with our thoughts.

Fueled by single malt scotch, it boils down to truth or dare. What is the one thing your relationship is based upon?

Don: Lifestyle. We couldn’t live like this on one income, and we like living like this.

Jim: It was tougher for both of them to take on the curveballs of life without a partner.

George: They’re married. Married people in their families are supposed to stay married.

Eddie: Mutual respect and admiration. Plus, they don’t live under the same roof.

Bruce: He’s in a couples phase. When he’s in a relationship, he wants to be out. When he’s out, he wants to be in.

Not exactly a Doris Day movie. But, neither is the real world.