Caliente

When I was in my formative years, it immediately struck me that many of the explorers we learned about in world history were Spanish. I assumed it was because they had the most wealth at the time, and also had numerous ports and the skills to use them. Watching television tonight, I’ve arrived at an alternative explanation.

The Spanish are crazy. Loco. Flat out.

These are people who think fighting bulls is fun and running with them is even better. You say a few hundred people get hurt every year in the run? Magnifico! Where do I sign up? But, what I saw tonight topped that.

Las Fallas (“the fires”) is an annual fiesta that lasts days. Ninots are constructed and placed at over 350 intersections in Valencia. They are large, satirical and sometimes bawdy effigies constructed of wood, paper mache’, cardboard and plasterc, some of them several stories high. They remain in place until March 19th, the day known as La Crema’ (“the burning”).

Yep, they torch them. A mere match isn’t enough for your average Spaniard, apparently. First, they stuff them with fireworks. You can see nearby buildings shielded by fireproof tarps. It would seem that the right side of the tarp to be on is the hind. But, the crowd is in front and as close to the ninots as permitted.

What made this scene especially newsworthy this time was that explosives were deemed insufficient by the executioner of one ninot. He hosed it down with gasoline, too. At this point, I see myself checking flight schedules for London, but not this mob. They’re pressing closer to get a good view of the carnage.

It doesn’t burn, it explodes into a mammoth fireball. Fireworks and gasoline; who could’ve seen that coming? It was difficult to tell if the people were applauding or dousing each other’s flames, but they definitely enjoyed it.

Well I’ve never been to Spain, but I kinda like the abusing. Say the people are insane there, and they sure know how to lose it.

Just pack your Nomex suit.