Restraining orders

This must be my season for walking into altercations. Today, it was outside a bookstore.

A woman exited her car and was walking toward the store. A man jumped out of another car, ran over to her and forcibly grabbed her by the arm. They didn’t appear to be discussing the weather, so I made my way over to them.

Having run a mental health clinic that served some violent offenders, I have experience in defusing similar situations. It was fortunate that I was able to do that here because they are usually volatile.

The man stalked off and the woman wanted to know what she could do to thank me. I didn’t want anything except for her to do what she had to avert this happening again. She said there was a Starbucks in the bookstore and offered to buy me some coffee. There are only two occasions when I’ll patronize Starbucks; when they have the pumpkin muffins and when someone else is buying.

She said this guy used to work where she does (he was fired) and had always hung around her desk, even though she discouraged it. He asked her out and she declined, which made his whole attitude go sour, with him claiming she had “dumped him.” He still imposed himself on her at work and began to regularly haunt her various web pages. Still does, months later, and now he creates unwanted contacts. She was considering getting a restraining order.

I’m in the minority here because I believe most in the criminal justice system deem such orders to be largely effective. They deal with a broader spectrum of the population than I did.

I told her that many would recommend that and I would go along with it if it was a simple case of a jilted lover, child custody argument or some other dispute that could cause a brief flare-up between two average people. But, the lingering obsession with her web presence, unwelcome contacts and delusions about a nonexistent relationship indicated a sick mind.

A restraining order would probably be a deterrent to normal thought process. But, it’s rejection to a defective one and could well cause him to prolong and/or increase his efforts to insinuate himself where he clearly wasn’t welcome.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t offer her a better solution. Except, to keep this in mind the next time a mental health levy showed up on the ballot.