Very taxing

This time of year, a letter from the infernal revenue people didn’t shake me up, especially since the envelope was thick. Probably forms.

I casually opened it and the initial sentence referred to my 2010 return, stating that certain items were unreported, per information they had received from other sources. Gulp. Now that will make your s### run weak.

There were six pages, listing the names and code numbers of mutual funds, each followed by a quantity of some kind. Dollars? Shares? Income? Capital gain? There was no clue. The column header just said that it was what the bank reported. There was a second column for what I had reported on my filing. That consisted of all zeros. I had visions of rooming with Bernie Madoff.

The choice was to sign the form, saying I agreed, or supply an explanation of why I disagreed. Agreed or disagreed with what? There was no indication of what these numbers were or where they should’ve appeared on the tax form.

I called the supplied phone number, went through several menus and then a recording told me that all agents were busy and I’d have to wait. They weren’t kidding.

When a human finally came on the line, I asked what the figures were. He said he thought they were income I had received from the bank. I didn’t recall receiving a check from the bank for $254,209 and he asked if I was sure. Yeah, I think I would’ve remembered getting a check for a quarter million from those thieves. And, even if I didn’t, I’d know something because my yard would be four deep in kayaks (minus those I allowed select friends to graze).

He replied that maybe they were capital gains, then. Maybe? You’re stepping on my onions for a maybe?

I thanked him for his time and said I’d get back to him. This was getting nowhere. I had to know what the bank was reporting to them and why they didn’t let me in on it. I was passed through four people just to find the one who could tell me they didn’t really know or have all the information. Then who would? I was referred to my financial planner.

She was able to sort it out, which is why I employ her. I wrote my letter of explanation/disagreement to the agent, which should take care of it. In theory, anyway.