Leave it at the door

We had a situation on our club web site that fortunately resolved itself. I’m not always that lucky and sometimes have to take action. One person posted a message and another, who differs from the first in the political spectrum, used the opportunity to get in a dig. Not even those who fall in that political camp deemed it appropriate. We’re about fun and people don’t want others dragging their own issues onto the stage. Leave it at the door. I wasn’t so fortunate on a recent group trip. There were a few instances where people chose to reflect their issues, making the group uncomfortable. They did it under the guise of “just kidding,” “it needed to be asked or pointed out,” or some other ruse, but no one is fooled by the thinly veiled acrimony. A number of the participants came to me to express how uncomfortable this made them feel. In one case, it was far from the first offense and I banned that person from future events. I don’t know what they were thinking. Was it that they imagined the group would turn against someone who had gone to considerable trouble and expense for their benefit and embrace those who offered absolutely nothing except negatives and disruption? Fat chance. Sometimes you have to clean up the mess, although I know leaders who won’t. You have to consider the welfare of the group. If someone attacks me on our web site, another web forum or whatever, I generally ignore it and leave them out on the limb looking foolish. Few, if any, take the message to reflect on the target. Rather, they look at it as the message poster having a problem. Therefore, I usually don’t care. But, if I receive feedback that it’s upsetting the group, I have little choice but to take action. Today, the target made the person introducing the issue look even more inane, so I didn’t have to do anything. I don’t kid myself that will be the last of it. Issues people don’t seem to take the cue. Do yourself a favor. Before you drag your issues into a situation where they are unwelcome, leave it at the door. You don’t want to look like “that guy.”