Foreigners

In the previous blog, it could be construed that I was alluding to foreigners. True, but not entirely. But, as long as we’re on the subject…

I’m not sure I was exposed to that term until I got into high school. We were told that the school would be receiving some foreign exchange students and were provided some guidelines in regard to that.

I can recall the conversation around the lunch table, which wasn’t exactly the GE College Bowl. What was so special about them? Weren’t most of our parents or grandparents immigrants? This was Philadelphia, PA, not Barnsburg, IA. And, since when did we follow guidelines?

The girl was from the Netherlands. Prior to her arrival, there was a lot of speculation on what kind of exotic love tricks she might bring. However, one look at her and no one was volunteering to be the test pilot.

The boy was from Samoa, Fiji, Bali or someplace like that. One of the guidelines was to treat them just as we treated each other. You mean, like captured spies?

He was a smallish guy named Elpidio. He told us he liked to be called “Super.” How many ways can you ask for it? About every tired practical joke was dusted off for the naïve fellow and he didn’t disappoint. I can think of at least two good scars he took home. Our pranks tended to oversteer.

My next encounter was in college at the University of Cincinnati. They were distributing foreign students among the various campus organizations. I was surprised they included us. We were an aggregate of blue collar types from New York, Jersey and Pennsylvania who probably would’ve thought “The Sopranos” was a sit-com.

We were dealt Johnny, who came from a wealthy and apparently not all that virtuous family in the Philippines. Johnny was anxious to set up shop here and recognized talent when he saw it. He involved us in his shenanigans and we were only too anxious to accommodate. Unfortunately, he chose to share his exploits at a meeting of foreign students and the faculty advisors removed him that night without even allowing him to return to the house.

A few years later, the University had the good taste to kick our “Animal House” off campus. I was stuck for a cheap place to live. So, I made a proposition to a friend I had who belonged to one of the upper crust frat houses. They needed to replace a housemother, per campus regulations, and didn’t want one. I would fill that position myself for a reduction in rent.

How would I do that? Leave that to me and I’ll take the weight. I could get this elderly lady I was helping out to do the interview and just dodge the meetings there after. It was risky but I was working my way through college and it was always touch and go financially. They might throw me out for impersonating a housemother but they certainly would for not paying tuition.

That was going okay. Then, I saw an opportunity to further cut my rent. The University wanted them to take in an African student. They refused so the University went to their alumni board and got the decision overrode.

These snotty, rich brats couldn’t bear the thought of sharing a room with a minority, let alone some “savage.” It was a different era. Didn’t mean a thing to me, though. I told them they could move a bed into my room if they cut my rent in half. They jumped on it.

So, I got Abraham Tewolde (pronounced Av-rah-hahm Tee-woldee), a slight and very black man. He was an interesting guy except kept weird hours. He’d go to sleep right after dinner and then would turn on the lights to study about 2:00 am.

Aside from that, we got along just fine. I called him “Abe” and he referred to me as “Gorilla Man,” (pronounced Go-rill-lah Mon), saying I reminded him of the primates in his native country. A fine thank you for the only person in the house who would talk to him. Of course, I wasn’t always as polished as I am today.

But, none of those experiences would reveal how the typical foreigner lived. That would come later when I got shipped overseas and be a blessing. Having grown up in small apartments and row housing, I might’ve felt a little disadvantaged. Not by world standards.

Travel would bring another good lesson. Outside of these borders, we’re the foreigners.