I can sleep better

The Christmas catalogs have already started to pour in and they’re not quite what I expected. In these economic conditions, I was expecting the selections to narrow to the best sellers and the catalogs to be thinner. It doesn’t appear to be the case, so I’d guess they’re stocking low in some of the unproven items.

I’m more inclined to wait out the season and then some, buying from the liquidators. However, once in a while, I pop up on some high end list and receive a catalog that’s so over-the-top, I can’t help but grin.

Added utility is one thing, but price for the sake of paying more is ludicrous. I get why an outdoor grill constructed of heavy gauge stainless steel costs more than painted tinny sheet metal. But, I’m not biting on a treble premium for a t-shirt just for the logo.

The marketers at J. L. Powell caught me with a stray shot in their targeted approach. The cover of their catalog carried the tagline “The sporting life,” so I understood why I came up on their radar. It also had a free shipping burst, which does appeal to my bargain hunting side.

However, they lost me early on with a car coat that is priced at $998. My first two cars didn’t cost a thousand bucks. Combined. Could almost squeeze the third one into that box.

Then, there’s the coyote throw (blanket) for $5,998. Aren’t coyotes maybe a little scarcer than deer? If you’re of a mind to lay out six thousand bucks for a blanket, does free shipping really come into the buying decision equation? I have no idea what the price points are on blankets constructed of mangy pelts, so I flip back to where I might be in my depth.

There’s a wallet/business card case for $485. I start paying half a grand for wallets and I won’t have anything to put in them. Turn some more pages.

Ah, the ubiquitous flannel shirt. Except theirs doesn’t become yours until you fork over $158. I hope they’re not waiting for my order to pay their utility bill. I can get about eight of them at Bass Pro for that kind of weight.

Now I come to a pullover shirt, promoted as made out of “100% cotton jersey.” That’s a big deal? Isn’t that the same thing like 90% of my t-shirts are cut from? Except, they didn’t cost $139 apiece.

I need to dig deeper. Now I’m in familiar territory. The good old denim work shirt and a pair of jeans. The shirt rings up at $175, which means you’re going to be doing a whole lot of work. The jeans check in at a mere $115.

Toward the back of the book, I encounter the prosaic baseball cap. Since they became the staple of the advertising promotion industry, I haven’t bought one since 1997 and have a carton of them. I doubt if I have one that retails for $190, though. In all fairness, this one is cashmere, which most ball cap occasions demand, of course. The pikers can always drop back to their waxed cotton version, which cuts the price in half.

A hundred bucks for a cotton ball cap is about all I can take and I pitch the catalog into the can, which is neither waxed nor worth a c-note, but somehow gets the job done. But, I will sleep better knowing that our economy can still support a market for three-figure ball caps.